Stallion's Have More Fun
by Sailor Draco
Summary: Zoisite plays a deadly trick on Kunzite that sends a homicidal pastry chief and a wild stallion over the edge. This is my first attempt at anything yaoi. This is also another one of my comedies. You've been warned.


**Stallion's Have More Fun.**

**Author's Notes:**

This fanfic was written for the Well-Written Yaoi Silver Millennium Fic by Miss Monday. This is my first attempt at anything yaoi. This is also another one of my comedies. You've been warned.

It had all seemed like an ordinary, unsuspecting day. On first glance it appeared to be boring, average, and nothing special. It would come to pass that the aforementioned day would be remembered throughout the palace staff as the day that finally pushed the pastry chief right over the edge.

Kunzite was searching the stables frantically with confusion and bad temper written across his face. He looked in all the stalls, searched the haylofts, looked in the feed storage, continued on to the orchid… Nothing. He kicked an innocent squirrel who had the misfortune of looking cute.

"What's wrong Kunzite?" asked Zoisite.

"My horse seems to be misplaced," he said with a scowl.

"How could you _lose_ a horse? Do you even remember what they look like? You know, about the human height or taller, large body, four legs, main and tail, makes noises, kicks, and has flat but sharp teeth? The same creature you've been _unsuccessful _in taming and have been bucked off of four times?" asked Zoisite teasingly, smiling innocently with a gleam in his eyes.

"Yes," said Kunzite while grinding his teeth furiously, "that would be the one."

"Nope, haven't seen him."

They heard a snorting nearby, then the rapid beat of hooves racing across open ground. The two men swiftly turned around, only to catch a glimpse of its tail as it turned a corner. Kunzite began chasing it. Zoisite sighed, and having nothing better to do, chased after the tall general and his wild horse.

Zoisite quickly caught up to him in the courtyard, trying not to laugh as Kunzite's eyes blazed with rage.

"Where did he go?" asked Zoisite nonchalantly.

"How the hell am I supposed to know? I'm a man, not a stallion. He outran me!"

Zoisite raised an eyebrow, smirking slightly as he watched the sweat slide down Kunzites brow. _Not a stallion, eh_. "Don't worry; he's bound to get tired. You'll catch him…eventually."

"I would still like to know how he escaped the stables," Kunzite said suspiciously.

"Feel like lunch?" asked Zoisite, avoiding the stables topic.

As the two men finished their mutton stew, and stood up to attend a court meeting, the kitchen doors burst open as the new serving girl frantically ran for her life.

"They are just pants!" she shouted as she dodged a flying knife. "You're taking this too seriously!"

"I'll show you," shouted a tall muscular pastry chef with the must _horrendous _pair of line green pants that had more ornaments then the inside of a pirate ship. "Nobody laughs at Sinclair Huseman!"

As Sinclair had the girl corned, raising his arm to beat her, Kunzite and Zoisite each grabbed one of his arms and pulled him away from her.

"Now Sinclair, remember what Endymion said about homicidal rages?" asked Zoisite as if he were talking to a child.

"Control them," Sinclair said tiredly.

They opened the kitchen doors to stare a ghastly at the sight before them. The stallion had ripped upon all the sugar bags, knocked over the pies and large holiday cake, looking at them with a frosting smeared snout.

"MY KITCHEN!" shouted the enraged pastry chief. In the surprise of finding a horse in the kitchen, the two men had loosened their hold on Sinclair, which allowed him to pull free and run toward the horse with fist raised, yelling a strange war cry of "Free the cupcakes!"

The stallion snorted and lowered his head to charge, accepting the mad chief's challenge. The stallion reared up, coming down to hit Sinclair right in the chest. He sailed through the air, landing on several bags of flour. He was covered in flour as it sailed through the air, consuming his wardrobe mistake. "My pants," he whispered forlornly.

The stallion turned towards the two generals, eyes set on domination. The two men ran in opposite directions, unsure of what to do against a wild stallion on a sugar buzz. The stallion followed the unfortunate Zoisite straight toward the cooking fires. Finding himself trapped between a massive fire and a terrifying stallion, he turned and looked the horse bravely in the eyes, only quivering slightly. He would have rather faced battle then that stallion from hell.

Just when he thought he would receive a wound bad enough to throw him into the next millennia, objects hurtled through the air, hitting the stallion on the ass. The stallion turned around and ran straight for Kunzite. Kunzite held the frosted donuts in his free arm like they were grenades. He stood unflinching as the stallion stood close enough to bite his nose off. The horse looked Kunzite right in the eyes, the two staring at each the only way males in a domination challenge can. The horse looked away and promptly started eating the donuts as he whinnied softly. After the donuts were gone, the stallion stood there, waiting patiently to be lead back to the stables as long as donuts were on the dinner menu.

"That was amazing," exclaimed Zoisite, "a horse with a hell of a sweet tooth."

"We're lucky Sinclair still had donuts left from breakfast," said Kunzite as he pet the horse between the eyes.

"Kunzite… I have a confession to make," he said guilty. "I let the horse out."

"You let a wild, untrained stallion run around the palace grounds?"

"I know. It actually didn't seem like a good idea at the time, but I thought ...eh, and ran with it anyway. Sorry."

"Always the trickster," laughed Kunzite as he kissed the other general, heart still racing with the deadly passions of the moment.

**The items from the challenge that I included:****  
**- A missing horse  
- A really bad idea  
- A confession  
-A disgruntled serving girl  
- a homicidal pastry chef with a horrifically unattractive pair of pants  
-"It actually didn't seem like a good idea at the time, but I thought ...eh, and ran with it anyway. Sorry."


End file.
